January, 2003

     The commotion started as I walked through the halls on my way to class. Mixed whispers of “Is that Sydney, Cordelia’s sister?” and “That poor thing,” wreaked a chilling,haunting havoc with my ears. I shut out the noises and continued to push my way through the thick crowds.
     I didn’t need anybody’s pity, and I didn’t want to answer the antagonizing questions that people pestered me with day in and day out. I had finally been able to gain back the courage to return and walk my high school halls. Frightening memories flooded back at odd moments, leaving me paralyzed and sobbing.
     Permanent memories were charred into my mind. Nothing could erase the stinging and chill-inducing scenes and sounds that played in my mind like a jumbled movie reel. In this movie there was a scattered beginning, a fuzzy middle, and there will never be an end.
     Important events were laced with emotions and the terrifying sounds that make up the movie’s soundtrack. Even with this evidence, I will never find the missing key to crack the case. I’m missing the one detail that connects the thread of the story.
     However, this will always remain a mystery, because the missing link is dead.

Four Months Earlier-September, 2002

Dear Journal,
     My idol. She always has been, and I thought she always would be. She was the only one to understand me for she had been through it all before. Moreover, she was everything I aspired to become: pretty, popular, and absolutely perfect. She was my sister. I often imagined how my life would be when I was her age, comparing myself to her, competition often arising in the very fiber of my being. I had a lot to live up to.
Cordelia, being well-like by everyone, was respected by both staff and students and school. However, everyone had his or her dirty, little secrets, their burning desires, their jealous tendencies. And some people would do anything to make their innermost fantasies come true.
Even drive Cordelia mad.
Syd

October

     “I told her that her shoes were so passé, making sure she knew who was better.” Larissa finished the play-by-play of her latest take-down with Cordelia. We all laughed.
     I felt guilt and remorse boiling in the pit of my stomach. The other three girls around us were exactly the same as Larrisa: Colgate smiles, golden blonde locks, and shining blue eyes. Their images were identical, even down to the girly giggles they emitted every few seconds. I wrinkled my nose in disgust, mentally scolding myself, wondering how I allowed myself to associate with such air-heads.
     Inside, I knew why, though. I had to protect my sister from the plan set to corrupt her. I had to do my duty and repay all I owed Cordelia.
     We left the bench we occupied and walked down the noisy halls. As usual, Larissa droned on about how she was going to ruin Cordelia’s popularity. Not knowing it was possible, I felt even sicker. I took a deep breath, squeezed my eyes shut, and when I opened them, Cordelia and her friends were right in front of us. Larrisa strutted over to the girls and glared at Cordelia’s friends. They backed off, giving the younger girl space.
     “Hey, Larrisa. Did you need something?” Cordelia flashed her million-dollar smile. She was being sincere; nothing could bring my sister down.
     “Actually, now that you mention it, there was something,” Larissa said, as though she was contemplating it. “But I think it can wait. You’ll hear about it soon anyway.” Larissa turned and walked away, her bubbly minions following close behind.
     Cordelia looked towards me, perplexed. I mirrored her bewilderment, shrugging.
     I opened my mouth to speak, but the bell cut me off, forcing the students to trudge back to class.
     “Syd, wait here after class. I might be late, but don’t worry, okay?”
     I nodded my agreement, and lazily headed to class.

     I couldn’t remember anything from class. I was still trying to decipher what Larissa meant earlier, but it was impossible to concentrate with the teacher lecturing and students whispering. The only noise in my head was a bit of a whisper I caught from two boys who sat behind me. “Yeah, and I heard she gives it up for the whole football team after games.” His buddy responded with a chuckle, “We should join the football team.”
     The conversation seemed to be stuck on repeat, but I brushed any inkling of bad away, figuring boys will be boys.
     The hallway was barren when I sat down on the edge of the bench near the back doors. Hoping Cordelia wouldn’t take long, a voice caught my attention. It belonged to Naomi, one of Larissa’s little lemmings.
     “Big deal. Poor Sydney.” The comment dripped with sarcasm and fringed on repulsion.
     My head snapped in the direction the voice was coming from. Naomi and Angie, another tag-along, walked towards me. Their expression switched from mocking to sugar-coated sincerity the moment they saw me. Both of them flashed me I’m-so-sorry smiles. Something horrible had happened, and I knew I was in the middle of it. As the two blondes disappeared around the next corner, I heard heavy footsteps and whimpering from the same direction.
     I dared a glance that way and gasped with alarm and trepidation, The mascara-streaked, tear-drenched face belonged to my beloved sister. Having never seen her cry in such a long time, it made my stomach tie in knots and my eyes well up.
     My voice caught in my throat. “What happened?” I managed to squeak out.
     She seemed lost for words. Biting her lower lip with eyes downcast, she stood there and shook, violent tremors swimming through her body. I persisted, “Cordelia, what happened?”
     Her eyes flicked upward and she looked me straight in the eyes. Her voice was full of anger and determination. “Let’s go home.” She stormed past me through the metal double-doors and out into the freezing rain. I ran after her, following her to her car. Ijumped inside, wishing she would tell me what had happened. She never did.

     At school the next day, the tension between Larissa and Cordelia was thick enough to sear with a knife. Students buzzed through the halls, gossiping about how Larissa had finally won; that it was about time someone shoved Cordelia off her pedestal. As I glanced around at others, they seemed nonchalant, knowing this happened every day amongst teens. I, however, was skeptical, as Cordelia hadn’t spoken a word to me since we left school the day before.
     During third period, Larrisa, her friends and I had a study block along with older students, which included Cordelia. All I can remember seeing from this point on was just after I walked into the library. Before I could even open my book, I was shoved to the ground, my face imprinting the rough carpet. My eyes were closed tight, but my other senses were well aware of the situation surrounding me.
     Blood-curdling screams reverberated through the always-silent library. My ears were ringing from the sounds of gun blasts. I counted four, but it was hard to tell through all the commotion. The room fell silent, save for heavy breathing and the off-beat whimpering of frightened students.
     Trying to get a look at the destruction that had been caused, I eased my body slowly off the floor. Immediately, another shot went off, and a warm and sticky fluid splattered all over my back. A tangy, metallic smell filled my nostrils and I almost passed out when I realized what it was.
      I yelped as a limp thud sounded directly in front of my head. Gaining the courage to open my eyes, I gagged when a horrific sight filled my eyes.
     The first four victims were blonde and bloody; Larissa, Angie, Naomi, and Kaite. I already knew who the fifth was, but I couldn’t admit it. I couldn’t bring myself to accept that my idol wasn’t as perfect as I imagined her to be.
     Shuddering and numb, I collapsed to the floor. I sat through the paramedics trying to save the five young girls; I sat in shock and horror as the coroner zipped the bodies into white bags. I felt as though I had lost consciousness, that my soul had escaped. Nothing felt real for hours, even days.

January, 2003

Dear Journal,
     Insanity is a mind-set no one will ever understand, its cause, its form or even its ending. It often drives the minds of humanity to a place they will never return from. However, warning signs often appear, whether they be enormous or as subtle as possible. Unfortunately, we’re all too wrapped up in our own problems to realize what is unfolding. I have watched someone take this ride, and even my reasoning for understanding will never be correct because to step into the mind of a psychopath would mean to step into the jaws of utter chaos itself.

Syd